


Not here

by TheIceQueen



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Burns, Comfort/Angst, Confusion, Crying, Doctors & Physicians, Gen, Healing, Hurt Oliver Queen, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Major Character Injury, Medical, Medical Inaccuracies, Pain, Restraints, Scars, Secret Identity, Unconsciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-18
Updated: 2019-10-18
Packaged: 2020-12-22 22:24:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21084077
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheIceQueen/pseuds/TheIceQueen
Summary: Oliver Queen is used to getting injured and mostly he manages with getting angry or silent, but with some injuries, pain just takes over.





	1. A visitor to the cave

She was blindfolded as she stepped in to what must have been an elevator. Her heart was racing and her hands were getting clammy. She wringed her fingers, mentally preparing for what she would see when the blindfold would come off.

Living in Star City meant that you were faced with some weird stuff sometimes, and as a doctor, with a regular appearance at the ER, she saw more than most. But this was out of the ordinary teen playing vigilantly, or the victims of some new attack no one understood. This was bigger than that. She didn’t know what she had gotten herself into, but when her old school-friend Felicity Smoak turned up red-eyed and out of breath in her office, she really didn’t have much time to decide.

The elevator stopped and the sound of the door opening was quickly replaced with the sounds of rattling breaths and moans. Felicity took away the blindfold and rushed into the light the doctor’s eyes weren’t used too yet. The smell reached her before sight. Burning flesh and fabric, maybe rubber. Her years in the burn unit had thought her that if this was from only one person, it was not going to be pretty.

The brightest place in the room were the center. The place where all commotion resided too. She quickly made her way there, already finding cloves in her bag. The sight that met her was a trembling figure in green, black and red. The head were covered behind a white curtain of sorts and Felicity was standing behind it, now fully in tears.

“Is this… the Arrow?”

“Please help him. Dr. S… the other doctor is too far away. Can you help?”

A big man was standing across from her. They both looked at the violently squirming body between them and then at each other. The body was covered in burns, at least 60 %, and whatever he was warring was embedded in his skin most places.

“Felicity said you are the best in the city. You used to work at the burn unit, right?”

Her old friend must have kept tabs on her. They hadn’t talked since they were fourteen.

“We need to get the… clothes off. It’s going to hurt. Do you have medical training?”

The doctor hoped that she was right in assuming the guy to be ex-military. He seemed calm in a crisis, especially if this were his friend.

“Some… The Army.”

“Then you know pain-medication in this state would be too risky?”

The guy nodded and she handed him a pair of gloves.

“Felicity. You need to talk to him. He needs you to keep him still while we work.”

The blonde nodded and sat down at the other side of the curtain, out of the doctor’s sight.

The man screamed heart-wrenching as the first piece of fabric was removed ever so carefully from his shoulder. He gasped and fought them as they tried to hold him down.

“We have restraints”

The statement sounded more as a question. As they held the guy down, waiting for him to come down enough that one of them could let go, she listened for his breathing. In between the soothing but slightly panicked sentences from Felicity, she heard him struggle for air. She looked at the man helping her.

“It might be necessary, but do you have oxygen?”

She hadn’t seen much of the room, but what she did see was money. This was state of the art and maybe it wasn’t all computers.

When the man under them were still enough, that he would stay on the table without help, the former soldier helped Felicity with the oxygen-mask and found the restraints.


	2. Faceless

Felicity was sitting by the end of the table, looking upside-down at Oliver, but he was not looking back at her. Mostly, his eyes were tightly shut in pain but occasionally they would spring open and every time Felicity was sad to notice that he didn’t seemed to see anything. It just seemed like a reaction that happened when he had no more air to scream.

At first, she had tried to hold his head still, but he didn’t seem to recognize anything familiar and it had only made him more distraught, so she had settled on holding a hand lightly on his forehead and trying to reach him with words. Words didn’t come easily, though. It was hard to talk when she herself were crying, but mostly she had no idea what to say. She was not about to leave him in silence, though. The curtain Diggle had hung from two flipped tables were concealing Oliver from the doctor, but also from seeing what was going on. Felicity were content with her not seeing, but Oliver was a control freak and not knowing could possibly make this harder on him.

“I know it hurts. It’s okay. Just lay still. It’ll be over soon.” If she had her hands free she would have hit herself. ‘An observation, a lie, a command and another lie.’ The looks on Diggle and her old friend, when either of them went to get something, let her know that this was nowhere near over.

An especially gut-twisting scream made it’s was through the oxygen mask. Per reflex Felicity moved to his side and turned his head towards her face. She held him in place and got close. She had to make sure there were nowhere else for him to look, but into her eyes, and she needed to whisper so the doctor wouldn’t hear.

“Oliver.” His eyes remained closed and the muscles in his neck convinced her that his whole body were tensed up and stiff like a board.

“Oliver. Look at me.” She was firm in her tone, but didn’t know if her whisper would reach him. The mist inside the mask were increasing and disappearing in an uneven pace. It was getting faster now though.

He screamed again. She held on tight and didn’t let him move away from her, but just for a few seconds, then he went limp.

“Oliver?” He didn’t respond, and from the sound of it, the two on the other side of the curtain didn’t stop working. If her eyes hadn’t been so difficult to see out of, she might have noticed the tears on the hero’s face.

“He… He passed out.” Felicity stood up to talk to her old friend. The sight that met her was two people with the same concentrating-frown between their eyes and sweat glistening on their foreheads.

“I figured as much. It’s the pain.” The doctor didn’t look up, she only seemed to increase her pace.

Felicity looked at the body now lying limp between the three of them. Oliver’s chest was badly burned, it seemed like they had gotten most of the suit of, though. It was deep and he was bleeding. The gloves on all four working hands were read. Oliver was still wearing his pants. It didn’t look like the fire had hit him as much there, but the suit had certainly seen better days.

“Is he going to be okay?”

Diggle looked at her but quickly looked down to his work on Oliver’s upper arm. He swallowed and took a deep breath. Felicity looked away, if that man started crying, she would turn into even more of a mess than she already was.

“Okay.” The doctor took a step back. Discarded her gloves on the floor and put on a new pair. She didn’t look at anything or anyone but the Arrow.

“He has third-degree burns on his chest and arms. We need to get the cloves off soon, but I’d like to get him sedated for that. We have to remove the restraints too.”

Felicity recognized the feeling of hope. Hope for Oliver to get some kind of pain-relief soon. Other than being unconscious, which didn’t seem to be helping enough, judging from the moans and sounds of nightmares, Oliver was beginning to make.

“His stomach…” the doctor continued. “is covered in first- and second-degree burns. His legs will probably show the same when we get the pants off.” She looked at Felicity. “How is his face?”

When the flamethrower was fired at the Arrow, it was only four feet from him and directed directly at his face. He had covered himself with his arms and the hood must have taken the worst of the rest. The hood was gone.

“It… It’s not that bad. I think.” Felicity really didn’t like to make that kinds of assessments, she was not a doctor, but she knew Oliver wouldn’t like to reveal his identity if it could be avoided.

Diggle looked at the doctor and only after she had glanced over the upper arm and shoulder and nodded, he removed his gloves. “He has a small first-degree burn on his left temple, not reaching the hairline, and a second-degree burn from his collarbone to his chin.”

Diggle removed the curtain slightly back so the doctor could see the burn on the neck. She seemed satisfied with not knowing who was on the table.

“Clean it with some cold water and keep talking to him.” Felicity’s old friend handed her a pair of gloves, and turned to Diggle. “Let’s get these pants of him before he fully awakes.”

Felicity sat down behind the curtain again. As she observed the moaning and now shaking Oliver, she washed his burns, then the glistening forehead and finally she washed away the tears running from the semi-unconscious man’s eyes.

“Felicity…” The doctor stood at the other end of the table. “We’ve cut his pants and are removing them now. You might want to hold his head steady.”

With that, Oliver’s head pressed back against the table as his eyes flew open. He didn’t quite manage to form a scream, but the sound of disbelief in the choking moan, made Felicity’s stomach want to eject her lunch. She turned his head once again and looked in to his eyes. She didn’t recognize the pained and confused look he sent her, but were glad to see that he seemed to lock eye-contact.

“Oliver.” She whispered. Then she talked louder. “Hang in there. You’re safe.” For a brief moment, it seemed like he heard her and his breathing eased a bit.

“Let’s get that monitoring set up so he can get some morphine.” The doctor barely finished talking before Diggle set off to the other side of the room, dropping his gloves on the floor halfway there.

Oliver seemed startled by the new voice and tried to move, but he was still retrained, which only added to the panic. “It’s okay. She’s a doctor. A friend.”

Felicity looked as Oliver tried to find the person connected to the voice, but he only saw the white curtain. “Look at me.” Felicity tried as the mist inside the mask indicated that hyperventilation was a real concern now.

She moved in his line of sight and held his head with a hand on each cheek, carefully not to touch his burns. “Look at me…” He looked her in the eyes, his fear almost paralyzing her. “…You’ll get morphine soon. Just hang on a bit longer and you can sleep.”

For a second there, Felicity didn’t think he’d gotten any of that, but then his breathing slowly got more controlled. “That’s it, Oliver. Concentrate on your breathing. You’ll be able to sleep soon.”

Oliver’s eyes widened and he stopped breathing all together. “Mn…” He took a quick breath. “N..”

“What is it?!” Felicity could see the distress and the fear tearing the strong man apart behind his eyes. “Breathe, take your time.”

Oliver took a few breaths, then tried again. “N… no.” It was a horse whisper under the mask, but the word was clear. “No sleep... n…” he started shaking his head, still maintaining the eye-contact with the girl above him.

“Okay. I get it. Breathe now.” Felicity understood that Oliver wanted to remain conscious for control, but that the pain didn’t outweighed that, she couldn’t grasp.

Diggle and the doctor had set up a heart-monitor and some other stuff she didn’t really cared about at the moment. “He doesn’t want to sleep.”

Felicity looked at her childhood friend as she came closer with an IV-stand. How did this become a part of growing up? Last time she saw this woman they were only girls and both using way too much makeup. The tears they had shed when her friend moved to Star City and she had to stay in Vegas with her mom, had made black stripes down both their faces.

“Okay.” She looked surprised, but Diggle only sent Felicity a defeated look. He was not surprised at all. Felicity almost regretted that she had gotten Oliver to talk.

“We can still give him morphine, Felicity. He doesn’t have to sleep.” The woman in front of her must have seen the added worry on Felicity’s face. Then she pulled over a chair and sat down on the opposite side from Felicity, but still behind the curtain.


	3. A hero

“M… Arrow?” That was awkward. “Can you hear me?”

“Yes.” The whisper from the other side was raw and didn’t offer any clue to who might be the patient, but the word was audible enough.

“I know you are in excruciating pain. I can help with that, but we still need to remove your gloves. It’s going to hurt, even with morphine. Are you sure you don’t want to be sedated?”

The Arrow moved his right hand a bit. He was still restrained so it wasn’t much. He lifted it just enough so he could move his fingers. His thumb and index-finger twitched slightly and then both hands started shaking. The pain was too much for him to make it stop again.

“He’s passing out again!” Felicity cried from the other side of the curtain.

“Listen. Arrow!” She stood up. She didn’t have time to think about the weirdness of using that name this time.

A moan responded.

“I can’t put an IV in your arms, it has to go in your neck. I’m not gonna look, okay? But I’m lifting the sheath a bit.”

His hands were still sharking, so she knew he was awake, but he didn’t answer. His breathing was ragged and too fast for her liking. She was amazed that he hadn’t gone into shock so far, but he was heading there now. “Felicity?”

“He’s nodding. It’s okay.” By the sound of it, Felicity was breathing just as fast is the Arrow.

“Turn his head against you and hold him still.”

She saw the skin over his collarbone stretch slightly and gestured to the military-man to come over. He lifted up the sheath to just below the jaw and she cleaned the side of the neck.

“Hold still.” She was talking to all three of them, but mainly she wanted to let the Arrow know that she started so he wouldn’t be startled by the feeling of the needle going in and the tape holding it in place.

Soon after, the moans subsided and the breathing got more relaxed. The Arrow responded well to the morphine and didn’t show signs of heart- or lung-problems. Only five minutes after the morphine drip were started they decided to remove the restrains on his hands. The ones on his ankles, hips and shoulders stayed on. They had been removed one by one and reattached on top of the bandaging after the debridement.

The Arrow were now awake, but hazy from the painkillers. He seemed to relax his legs, torso and shoulders. The only thing showing signs of pain were his lover arms and hands. Both hands were lifted half an inch from the table, all fingers spread apart but not fully stretched. They were shaking. Both arms were shaking violently from the elbows and down. The gloves were still on. They didn’t know if the hands would show red like the legs, which were covered in first-degree burns from just below both knees and up, or if the cloves were burned to the skin like the suit had been to his arms and chest. Either way it would hurt enough make him go into shock. She looked at the IV-line coming out from under the curtain and ending at the saline bag and morphine drop and considered to turn up the pace.

“He can’t do this awake, can he?” The veteran, who had more medical training, or experience, than he’d let on, stood behind her. He must have seen her look over the scene with hesitation.

“He’ll possibly go into shock. We have no idea of knowing how bad it is. Either way, first-degree burns are the most painful. Hands has a lot of nerves…” The man cut her off by moving around her and looking straight down at the face of the burnt man.

“Sorry, man. You don’t get to decide this time.”

The Arrow shifted as much as he could under the restraints. “I can do this. Don’t you dare…”

“I’m sure you can, but you don’t have to. Let someone else be the hero for a change, will you.” He moved his hand to the morphine drip and looked at the doctor. “Say stop.”

“Stop!” The Arrow was one stubborn man, she had to give him that, but the veteran didn’t stop, until the Arrow was silent, his hands had stopped moving and she gave the sign.

Felicity busted out crying. She had been crying on and off, all the hours they’d spent there, but now she was sobbing. The man went to her and tried to offer comfort. He only managed to keep her from falling of the chair. He looked at the doctor while still holding Felicity upright.

“You go, I’ll call if I need help.” The big man put Felicity’s arm around his neck and his arms around her back and under her knees. He lifted her up effortless and carried her trembling frame to a couch on the other side of the room. Before he put her down he turned to the doctor already putting on gloves again.

She looked up and saw him watching. “I won’t look. Just take care of my friend and I’ll take care of yours.” She smiled at him and even though he looked tired enough to pass out, it almost looked like he was smiling back, before he sat down, out of sight.

The hands were only first-degree, but she was happy the patient was sleeping because, it would have hurt like hell to get the gloves off. As she attended the burns on his chest she decided to leave the restraints off. They would only add to the pain and the length of the healing process. She did the same with the others.

After she’d looked over the entire body three times, including the neck, careful not to see too much, she sat down and leaned against the backrest. She looked at the ceiling and took a deep breath. What the hell just happened? It had been an ordinary Thursday, she was about to leave the stacks of reports on her desk and go to see her boyfriend. She had texted him on the way here, that she had to work all night. Wherever here was. What time was it anyway? Not that it mattered, she’d stay here as long as needed and then she would sleep for a week.

“You okay?” The man had returned from the couch-area.

“Yeah… I guess. I should be asking you the same.”

“I’m good.” She quickly got the feeling that he wasn’t big on emotions, so she accepted the short response.

“I’m John by the way. Guess we never had the time.”

“Jackie.” She extended her hand and shook his.

“Felicity told me.”

“How is she?” She straightened her back and looked in the direction of the couches.

“She’s sleeping. She’ll be fine as soon as he is.”

John looked at the man lying still on the table.

“He’s stronger than I’ve ever seen. I’m sure he’ll make a full recovery. There will be scars though.” The doctor noticed the bottled-up snort and the small smile and remembered seeing a lot of old, and some not-so-old, scars all over the body. Under the burns. She hadn’t taken notice of them while working.

“He’ll need pain-management for some time and changes of the dressings twice a day. He really should be at a hospital, but I guess that’s out of the question.” She looked questioning at John, but didn’t hold any hope for the answer. She was right.

He shook his head. “I can manage that. We’ll take care of him… We’ve done it before… not quite like this though…”

“You feel okay with this? I can stay as long as you need me to.”

“No, it’s okay. You’ve done more than enough. Thank you.” The man was sincere in his gratitude, she could see that, but she was not quite ready to discharge her patient to home-care just yet. Not that this place had any resemblance to a home.

“How about I’ll stay for a few hours, while you sleep? Maybe you could eat something and take a shower too… if you can do that here. Then you’ll be ready to take care of him when I go home.”

The big man opened his mouth to speak, but stopped himself. Maybe she had sounded more determined than she thought, or maybe he just realized that this would be the best thing to do. Either way he ended up smiling. “If you insist.”

After five hours. They had all eaten and John had slept and taken a shower. Felicity had not moved an inch from the Arrow’s side after she’d waken up. The doctor had started turning down the morphine so he would soon be able to wake up. She told John how to manage the high doses of medication and briefed him in treatment of burns, changing the dressings and what complications to look out for, but it seemed like he already knew most of it.

When she took off her blindfold, she was in front of her own house. John had thanked her all the way there and now he did it again. He gave her a hug and she handed him her card and a look that told him, that he’d better call if anything went sideways.


	4. The face

Two months later she had another lunch with Felicity. They’d been seeing each other almost every other day, since the blonde showed up in her office. The first talks was over the phone though. Jackie had the feeling her old friend didn't leave the Arrow’s side for a moment for over a week.

They’d been talking a lot about old days and how they both had been keeping tabs on each other’s careers but never made contact, despite living in the same town. The conversation had often been about the Arrow, and even though she still didn’t know his identity, she never asked. Of course, she was curious, but she was a doctor to him first. If her knowing meant that he wouldn’t seek help when needed, from her or others, then she had no interest in knowing anything.

There was a knock on the door. She’d come to know that knock again. She looked at her watch, was it really already this much? “Felicity. Come in!”

Felicity opened the door but didn’t come in. She just waited. “I’m coming. Give me a second.”

“Actually, I have a friend that would like a consultation.” The doctor looked up. Felicity didn’t seem worried or upset.

“Is... _he_ okay?” Jackie dropped her stuff on the table and took a few steps towards the door, but Felicity Just moved out of the way and made room for her friend.

“Mr. Queen…” Everybody in Star City knew Oliver Queen. “I have to say, Felicity. You have some interesting friends.”

Felicity smiled and closed the door and letting the two of them alone. The doctor gestured to a chair and sat down herself, on the other side of her desk. Her mind was going a hundred miles an hour. How many new acquaintances would Felicity show up with? Did Oliver Queen know the Arrow? Wait, what if… no… maybe. _Was _Oliver Queen the Arrow? She knocked the thought out if her head. It would only drive her crazy if she had to guess every time someone who knew Felicity shoved up.

“What can I do for you Mr. Queen?”

“Oliver is fine.” He smiled and didn’t seem nervous. Not that Oliver Queen was known for that, but most new patients did tend to show a bit of unease. “I just wanted to thank you in person.”

The doctor felt her face turn white, but still didn’t want to say anything before she was sure. It wouldn’t be good to overshare. “I’m sorry?”

He smiled and stood up. Was there a redness to his lover neck? Was it the burns showing, or was it her mind playing tricks on her?

“You really didn’t see who I was?” The man started to undo his tie. “I’m the burn-victim.” He looked at her. “The Arrow.” He waited for her reaction but she couldn’t get her thoughts in order to offer one up. Which probably was the reaction, that made him smile even more.

“I wanted to let you know, how I was healing and that I’m grateful for everything you did. That couldn’t have been easy. The blindfold, the secrecy… me screaming.”

She stood up and walked towards him. The shock of the news settled with her and she was able to concentrate about the current situation again. “I just did my job. You were the one to worry about… Can I take a look at the scarring?”

He continued with his shirt and let her assess the result of the healing. The scarring was severe across his chest and lover arms, but his movement didn’t seem hindered. She took his hands in hers and was pleased to see no scarring, just some redness and dry skin that would fade away eventually. “Everything looks good.”

“I told you. You did a great job. I’ll leave you and Felicity to your lunch now.” He started putting on his shirt and picked up his tie from the chair.

“I didn’t know who you were. You could have went on pretending I was never there.” She looked at him as he got dressed. She always turned her back to patients when they were dressing themselves, but it was only a shirt and he _had_ started taking it of mid-conversation before.

“I like to see the faces of the people who safes my life.” He grinned to himself as he left and let the door open so Felicity could slip in.

“You could’ve warned me, Felicity.”

Felicity grabbed her by the wrist. “C’mon. What’s the fun in that? Now let’s eat.” 


End file.
